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Jane 58, Female, USA - 50 entries

Oct 2006
4:27 AM EDT

On Friday I headed out for my weekend job at Lowes Motor Speedway. I was able to get this job with a temporary agency in Charlotte so I had to go to their location and get my assignment - it was not in a very desirable location. It's the type of place that people just show up in the morning and then are sent out to work that day. When I arrived they were trying to sort out the group of people that had showed up. 3/4's of the people did not qualify for the work because they did not understand what black pants, black shoes and whie shirt was. That was the uniform that we were to wear. After about 1 hour I was finally on my way to the track. After I arrived there we were issued a uniform to wear and assigned to a suite. My responsibilites for the weekend would be to serve drinks and food for the people in my suite. The suite I was in was owned by Speedway Motorsports Inc and they were entertaining a variety of political people this weekend. On Friday I only had about 25 guests in my suite so it was not really a lot of work. It was a long day though as I started at 10 and be finished about midnight. I really had a great time working the suite and what a spectacular view we had of the race. Because there were not many people in the suite I was really able to watch to the Busch race. What a great race. I was not sure if I was even going to return for work on Saturday but It turned out to be so much fun that I would endure 1 more evening in my bad hotel so I could return for work on Saturday. J

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blackroseangel 34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries

Oct 2006
3:04 PM CDT

yes i did and then i pretende to be that person for a very long time and then i really realize who i was and it kinda surprise cause pretending to be that person made me go into lala land and that i really wasnt facing reality.

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smb 50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries

Oct 2006
12:45 PM MST

Yesterday (Sunday) was a pretty good day, CN came over, went to church, my mom came and watched the boys for about 5 hours while CN and I went to lunch, shopping, worked out and dinner! It was fun! nice to "get away" then we went to Pastor B's for our book study! It was great having CN beside me again until we got to the 10 commandments part and rule #7 sucks, Thou shall not commit adultry, and the book said, 'you can't have sex with someone unless you are married to them! Well, that pretty much puts a damper on my sex life since I said I will NEVER get married again! when we got home, CN did a great job of getting me to "forget about rule #7 until after- then I felt guilty! (I am sorry God, I need to have more will power! HELP!!!) Today was an okay day but just VERY tired, only got about 4 hours of sleep last night! AGH! I don't sleep well with CN, don't know why, I had a Frameworks Class this afternoon and then got some errands ran, I am very close to getting all I need to get things sent off to the mortgage companies to get things in my name! I should have done that MUCH sooner! what was I thinking!? I am my mother's daughter, will put it off and put it off! Aunt Flow came it visit today, my low back is KILLING ME! I need to call the DR. and get something for this, it is BAD! Im wishing I had some of DB's painpills right now. yeah, right, he use to offer them to me and I wouldn't take them! like I would now! talked to his mom, I feel so bad for her. She is really missing her baby boy too! We all do! Her cancer is slowly starting to get worse,,, I need to prepare myself but DON'T want to! ONE bad thing after another! I have to stop asking, when will it end!? I also need to count my blessings that I am so lucky to have what I have,,, and THANK YOU LORD for taking care of me financially! What a wonderful thing that I didn't even have to fight it! BUT- I am scared to tell too many people for fear I won't "really get it" I am too wierd about that kind of stuff, I am excited to go to FT Collins, can't wait to see the Frenchies! MISS EM!

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adj 76, Male, New York, USA - 14 entries

Oct 2006
3:16 PM EDT

The Barnyard Poet is back, A rainy day, I made the most of it. Their were no calls, no calls at all. That's typical. I'm beginning to enjoy my life. The simple little pleasures, is all I ask for. This is a very plesant time for me. I read a little of Robert Frost, Ezra Pound, and Carl Sandburg, They were a witty group of guys.

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blackroseangel 34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries

Oct 2006
1:58 AM CDT

its been a while since i wrote an entery so let me say i got suspended for two days for tardies. me and deon are like back in action and he seem to keep his paws on me lol. i love him. this morning i swear those hands of his just reach for my ass. i was like DEON! and he was saying well u know i cant help it. lol but oh well it kinda truned me on..oops the bell rang let me go to class. cya

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dave 50, Male, Arizona, USA - 14 entries

Oct 2006
1:44 AM EDT

Been a few days so as much as I have been up to. HOLY SHIT...Yesterday my exwife wife called me at work and says that my daughter woke up crying for Lisa my girlfriend. Un like her she continues to tell me that she wants to know if Lisa would like to spend time with her...huh????What alternative motive is my ex up to??? Makes Lisa and I nervous due to the fact just last week just was getting up set because she thought Lisa was stepping in as the new mommy role. Now just due to a parenting class that we attended for the divorce she has changed. I just can't trust her. She seems that she means well but my ex has the past of always trying to get rid of the kids so that she can PARTY. Should I trust her? NOPE. I will go with the flow but Lisa and I are on the defense and refuse to let those shields down un til she proves more that she is doing her deeds for good not evil. Not that I mind having my duaghter. I love her to the end of the earth but I have continously taken advatage of my my ex. Not to mention all the people she has hurt since Lisa and I have been together. God please let this be good!!!

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bettyboxedin 35, Female, Canada - 24 entries

Oct 2006
11:43 AM CST

Rainy Day (by)Guster is one of those songs that just express all my feelings right now. I feel hurt, sad, lost, confused, angry, crazy, and just weird like a sort of numbness is comeing over me starting from my brain and it slowly is just going down into my heart. Just when i get my illness undercontrol and all my stress and depression is going down to above average Jordy and my cousin pull this shit. pulling me in two directions one way i want to go and the other i dont but know its best. you must think i am sooo stupied for finding this such a diffacult decision.but i really do love him so much the last time i felt this way was with my ex who commited suicide in april.he and i were gonna get married in 2008 when i turn 18 but he missunderstood something i said and then he racted wrongly to it resualting in unbearable heart ache and remanints of guilt. why do i do so many things wrong? i am above average for the usaul mistake making for 24 humans combinded. I myself i wouldn't be the least bit suprised if i was a mistake. fuck i am gonna shut up i am makeing my self suicidal

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1 comment(s) - 07:33 AM - 10/24/2006

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bettyboxedin 35, Female, Canada - 24 entries

Oct 2006
11:38 AM CST

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Nated09 34, Male, Illinois, USA - 26 entries

Oct 2006
11:38 AM CST

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." --Ralph Waldo Emerson Once again, this is of course about life, but I chose this quote because it really is the difintion of life. Life isn't about being happy, but personally I think that a person needs to be happy in order to help others, but that's not the quote. But, a person in life should be useful, honorable, compassionate, and know that when they do these things that they have lived, and lived well. I know that I try to do these things on a daily basis, but sometime there's that person where you can't be the bigger person, no offense towards anyone or myself, and you just can't because if there is that person, you just want to take them out back and slap them around, or just jump on them like a crazed person. When ever I feel like doing that, all I do is just yell and growl between classes because the halls are too noisy anyway, so I'll fit right in. If there is that one person that just gets under your skin, don't bring a gun to school, because that's what I think is the leading cause of school violence is others picking on others and then the person getting picked on thinks that's the only way to get them to shut up, there are better choices. Don't bring a gun to school, first talk to your counselors, a teacher, someone who can do something whether it's a friend who will talk to an adult for you, just don't turn to either killing someone or yourself. You have the rest of your life to look forward to. I know a person wouldn't want to spend it in prison, or dead. And if talking to a trusted person doesn't work, just write the person name on a sheet of paper all over and then tear up the paper furiously, or talk to the person and try to see why they get under your skin or pick on you. Basically see what it's like in their shoes. I know that people always tell you this and you think that it doesn't work, but it does. I've done it many a times and at first it doesn't work, but after I think about it, I try to talk to the person, and ask them why do they treat me the way they do and I find out that they have a bad family situation, and NO it's not an excuse to act the way they do, but it adds to why they do. So remember that life is really worth to live it. And live life to the fullest, and don't forget you have a lot of loved ones and friends who love you and wouldn't want to go to your funeral before they have to. Nated

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izzybelleluv007 34, Female, Canada - 15 entries

Oct 2006
11:16 AM MDT

not realy i'm realy open about what i think about things, but i know when to stop so as not to be rude. I sometimes pretend to be happyier if i'm in a bad mood. I don't realy think there is a need to pretend that i'm someone else, then whats the piont of having your friends if they dont like your real self? anyway i'm pretty happy most of the time with my real friends.

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